Second Breakfast

I saw this ad on one of the job boards that I subscribe to. Somehow it made its way into my search results (maybe suggesting a career change?). Apparently being a phone sex worker is considered “Broadcast Journalism”. Although given the current state of the media, that’s not much of a stretch:

Hello Brian Spolarich! We’ve compiled the freshest job matches for you based on your job preferences.

Actor / Actress
Job Type: Broadcast - Journalism
Telecommunications
Req’d Education: None
Req’d Experience: None
Req’d Travel: None
Relocation Covered: No
Phone: 1-800-325-6608

DESCRIPTION
You could be working for the largest adult telecommunications company in the world!

Do you have a flirtatious voice?
Do you love chit chat?
If so, you may be the perfect candidate for telephone acting! You MUST have an open mind, a very charming voice, and a desire to create fantasies and role play!

Paychecks mailed WEEKLY!
Flexible Hours - full/part time or work as an independent contractor setting your own hours!
Complete and total anonymity!

We employ hundreds of women and men nationwide and entertain over 10,000 clients daily. Our top agents earn $15+ per hour. (hourly rate plus bonuses) You must be an adult, have a charming voice, a private area of your home to work from, and a very positive attitude!

Sound like a fun and easy way to earn money? It is!

For more information, call and speak with one of recruiters today or visit us at www.phoneactress.com

As my husband has already posted, we were featured in an article in the Ann Arbor News regarding the impact of the passage of Proposal 2, which is now being used to attempt to deny same-sex couples domestic partnership benefits granted by their employers. In our case, since I currently have no health insurance through my employer, I’m on Alan’s policy through the University of Michigan where he’s a graduate student. Having insurance through Alan is a big relief, and has made my current job uncertainties rather less stressful.

So now we’re the official poster-boys for same-sex marriage and domestic partnership stuff, at least for the next fifteen minutes. As you can imagine, this inspires people who feel the need to communicate. So yesterday we got a call from someone (straight married guy he pointed out) expressing his admiration and support for us. I need to call him back and thank him for his kindness.

Today I got the following missive in the post, typed on pink paper with a copy of our picture from the paper, with a note in pen that says “Arn’t [sic] You Darling?”. For the purposes of enlightening the public, I shall produce the note in its entirety:

————————
Faggott!

Is pink your color WIMPS? women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead undulged in sex with each other, men instead of having normal sexual relationships with, burned with lust for each other, men did shameful things with other men and as a result suffered within themselves the penalty they so richly deserved.

When the refused to acknowledge God, He has abandoned them to their evil minds, fully aware of God’s death penalty for those who do these things, yet they go right ahead and do them anyway.

When man lays with another man like he would with a woman it is abomination and sinful, it is NOT in God’s image, on judgement day you will have to answer for this sin.

Faggotts are a disgrace, I must say WIMP you [sic] WIMP boy friend is so GORGEOUS! you are anti-God secular scum, anti-American scum, you have a problem with your benefits get separated benefits morons.

About the only ones on your side are the liberal-left they love ya, and so does the corrupt ACLU, your kind are part of an immoral class and party of the enemy within, you will not be happy until the word of God and Jesus Christ are stamped out and that ALL of America will be faggot land.

I have seen faggots turn their adopted kids into faggots, you spread AIDS along with the doppers [sic?] and niggers of Africa its not too late to repent your life style, its your choice to be faggots, no one told you to, marriage is for a man and a women [sic] that is God’s law and I would say your [sic] mocking God right now.

————————

Some thoughts

• This guy (its always a guy) must be an idiot. He uses a typewriter and his own handwriting. If you’re going to send threatening letters at least use a freaking laserprinter. They are slightly harder to trace. I’ve seen CSI. I know what forensics people can do.
• The reference to Romans 1:26-27 is typical. See the page on these passages at textweek.com (a wonderful resource), which provides some excellent exegesis on Paul’s intentions here.
• I’m curious which one he thinks is gorgeous. The letter was addressed to me (no return address, the coward), so he must mean Alan. The picture isn’t the best (our wedding pics are better, although I’m thinner now), but he does look pretty good. I’m glad I married him, thank you very much.
• The idea of turning America into faggot-land is appealing — we would certainly get into a lot fewer wars and someone would convince Condoleeza Rice to get her teeth fixed — but as a Christian and ordained elder in the Presbyterian Church (USA) he’s rather off the mark in terms of my intentions towards denying the Christian faith. Maybe its cliche, but I try (often with great difficulty) to live my life with a nod towards “What Would Jesus Do?”. I have a strong suspicion that my Savior, who spent his time hanging out with prostitutes, Gentiles, and Roman collaborators (sinners, all) would not be spending his time penning anonymous and threatening letters to people who are asking for health insurance.

  Also, despite its flaws and the constant idiocy of the current administration, I love my country, thank you very much, and I thank God that I live in such an amazing (if sometimes amazingly flawed) country.

• Both of us having lain with women as well as men, I’ll tell you that one never lies with a man as one does with a woman. Its completely different, bub! “Abomination” is a rather big word, and given that I’m not too concerned with touching the skin of a dead pig either, I don’t think admonitions about ritual un-cleanness are particularly apropos. I have read my Bible, dorkus, including the parts you conveniently skip over.
• I’m not mocking God — I honor and respect God in all of her mystery and glory and awesome presence. However I am mocking you, for you dishonor the faith that you claim to hold dear in sending this evil trash into my house.

There, I feel better now. Peace.

We saw The Incredibles on Sunday — what a fun, fun film. Pixar continues to impress me with their animated features, which are hip and cool, funny both for younger audiences with enough pop culture references to keep geeks like me amused. The ultra-cool score also rocks, and is definitely worth getting.

By far my favorite character in the film is Edna Mode (”E”), the fashion designer to the world’s “Supers”. She’s this fabulous amalgamation of Edith Head, Karl Lagerfeld, and Rei Kawakubo. Voiced by director Brad Bird, she practically steals the film whenever she’s on screen. She also gets some of the best quotes in the movie:

Edna ‘E’ Mode: For the infant suit, I cut it a little roomy for the free movement; the fabric is comfortable for sensitive skin; it can also withstand a temperature of over 1000 degrees. Completely bulletproof; and machine washable, darling. That’s a new feature.

Helen Parr: What do you think this baby is going to be doing?!?!

Edna ‘E’ Mode: I am sure I have no idea, darling. Luck favors the prepared.

Some quick facts about me courtesy of www.googlism.com.

brian is crowned
brian is still brian
brian is not a gentleman
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 professor of applied theology
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 great brian is great
brian is an extremely private person
brian is still brian tammy kelchner
brian is gone but civ3 is still going strong by korn469 february 12
brian is charged with three counts of forgery
brian is a superhero by nitrous_prime
brian is not a gentleman
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brian is an arsonist" 7" 4 more songs from the bedrockers
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 shell's scotford refinery near edmonton
brian is my blog god public thanks and loads of unadulterated
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brian is currently licensed to practice law both in missouri and kansas
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brian is enclosed in a pyramid when torches are inserted
brian is constantly talking
brian is married to irina
brian is not in need of money
brian is a 1999 graduate of georgetown high school and
 is the son of deborah durbin

I stumbled across Digital Blasphemy some time ago. The site is provided by Ryan Bliss, and conisists of very detailed and realistic artistic renderings of various kinds, including nature, space scenes, and some cool abstracts. Its wonderfully geeky, and on a large LCD monitor some of these renderings are absolutely fantastic.

I don’t get into heavy modding of my computer’s interface — I tend to stick with standard backgrounds and color schemes, as I find I spend too much time getting really fussy about stuff. But I find some of these images very soothing and intriguing, and maybe a little creativity-inspiring. I have sprung twice now for the $25 annual membership.

There is plenty of cool stuff in the free gallery, but the really good stuff is in the “Member’s Only” section.